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28 June 2012

French Kissing

Today I met up with another cousin (brother of the Joan Armatrading's New Guitar cousin) fresh from playing bass guitar in the Pop'pea gig in Paris and, hence, he gave me a kiss on both cheeks.

He related that, on being introduced to a friend's girl-friend last week, he went to double-kiss her but she was not expecting the second kiss and, as he moved from one side of her face to the other, he accidentally brushed his lips on hers. He blurted out an apology, "Oh sorry, I was trying to give you a French kiss."

(Oops! A bit difficult with foot-in-mouth.)

18 June 2012

Stupid Hats and the cost of being entertained

I've been invited to Ladies Day at Royal Ascot, to accompany my husband who is more-or-less-obliged to attend as a guest in connection with his work. There are many things I'd rather be doing than dressing up and being polite all day but I have a strong sense of duty and I also realise that I'm very lucky to have this opportunity so I'm trying to be positive. (I'm really not as horrible as this makes me sound!)

Anyway, I couldn't help but add up the cost of the extras related to this little treat, even though our generous hosts are paying for the whole day out and an overnight stay in a fabulous 5-star resort. The cost of our new clothes doesn't count as we'll wear them again because, thankfully, we are not entering the Royal Enclosure so he didn't need a morning suit and I didn't have to go over top and buy a dress!

However, I'm very negative about the stupid rule about stupid hats. Hats hate me and the feeling is mutual. There is also no point to the fashionable fascinators, etc. Men wouldn't wear them (admittedly, many men don't have enough hair to put them on but that's not the point either). I managed to buy a not-quite-so-stupid-hat in a sale for only £5 so I'm OK with the cost - just not the stupid rule.

No, the real cost is as follows:

ladies trouser suit with hat
Oh, I wish!
  • three hours wandering around a department store, finding nothing suitable
  • several hours surfing the internet, getting more despondent
  • two and a half hours traipsing around the local boutiques (bought an expensive outfit in a sale even though the trousers were a size too big)
  • three hours slogging round an outlet centre trying on shoes (bought a pair) and hats (no luck)
  • two hours in a shopping mall, looking at hats (got one) and bags (will now go without)
I have to say that my husband was brilliantly patient throughout these shopping trips and even managed to be 'nice' about my hair. Ah yes, another story...

I normally colour my hair every few weeks to lighten it a few shades from 'mousy brown' to dark blonde. I didn't notice that the colour I used yesterday contained peroxide until it was too late - I am now a shocking golden blonde with a ginge tinge so perhaps I should have bought a balaclava. The hair colour doesn't suit me at all but, rather than risk my hair falling out by colouring over it, I'm hoping to minimise the effect by having it cut fairly short later this week!

Update after Ladies Day
Mum died the day before Ladies Day so it was good to have the distraction and most of the people I met were very nice to chat to. I looked awful, of course; very drab in an oversized khaki trouser suit and tweed trilby - what was I thinking? I also lost weight soon afterwards so I've never worn the trousers since that day - obviously I've not worn the hat - and the shoes were so uncomfortable that I wore them only once more, for less than 15 minutes - ouch! Charity shop patrons have had a great bargain!

13 June 2012

Joan Armatrading's New Guitar

I found the following exchange quite funny!


Conversation highlights:

My cousin: "Sold a guitar to a bona fide music legend today. Ladies and gentlemen... Miss Joan Armatrading"

Friend 1: "V cool - what did she buy?"

My cousin: "It was a James Tyler Variax in Lake Placid Blue"

Friend 2: "[name of mutual friend} is impressed ...he can't even think about selling any of his guitars, it causes him too much pain. He has been coveting the one you sold for a while; apparently it's quite good for switching to altered tunings when gigging without having to swap guitars? Did you sell because you weren't impressed with it?"

My cousin: "No, I sold it 'cos I work in a guitar shop"

Friend 3: "Very cool customer..... Did she do you a few verses of "What if god was one of us" while she was there?"

My cousin: "Er no, Joan Osborne might do it if she came in."

Friend 3: "Ahhhhh in that case I've no idea if your customer was cool.... If Ms Osborne ever calls in let me know and I'll have a healthy dose of awe and wonder ready prepared."