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30 September 2013

Not Impressed, Dad.

Yesterday afternoon, a man at the bar in a village pub ordered a pint of beer and a half-pint of bitter-shandy and took the drinks into the garden where he handed the half-pint to a boy, aged about 8 years old, who said "thanks, dad". The pair had the same again before driving away in an Audi convertible with personalised number plate.

28 September 2013

Invasive Porn, thanks Google.

I ventured into blogging in 2007 and was almost instantly scared off! While trying to find my way around blogger, I clicked on 'next blog' at the top right of the screen - it was a very explicit porn blog. In sheer panic, I hit the back button but it wouldn't go away, it kept refreshing. Aargh! What if it's a virus that permeates my computer? What if there's a trace on people viewing porn sites? What if... lots of things. How could Google allow this???

I closed the browser, tried to clear my mind, opened up the browser again and immediately cleared all history and cache, then closed it again and ran all the anti-virus software. I have never, ever, clicked that link since.

25 September 2013

What Can Old People Do For You?

Think not what you can do for the elderly but what they can do for you because, in many cases, what you can do for them is to enable them to feel useful, wanted, valued.

Older people are not stupid, it just takes a little longer for bits of the brain to connect. Many older people have much wisdom. If you are patronising, they know.

So consider whether your attitude should be along the lines of helping to enlighten an elderly person that you know or fetching them cups of tea so they don't have to move - or whether it might be better to form a more natural give-and-take relationship.

Remember when you were young and your grandparents loved doing stuff with you, FOR you. It's natural to want to reciprocate as you become the stronger one but there is a danger of chipping away at their independence and self-worth if they become reliant on others. This is one of the major failings of some care homes - residents are generally not allowed to make hot drinks or butter some toast.

If you visit an elderly friend, please don't automatically jump in and do everything for them. If they can do something for you, please let them.


Moving home - many times

I think I must have nomadic genes. I've lived in some really great places yet I always have an urge to move on even though I don't necessarily want to. Why is this?

The first two or three moves were 'up the ladder' but after that it was just a change for no real reason which, financially, wasn't always for the better. For example, we moved from a modern house that we'd totally re-built to an old thatched house a mile away.

Since we married, we've bought and done up 7 houses and rented one for over a year while we re-built our previous home. Our current home is almost perfect so why have we spent the past couple of years looking for somewhere else? (Which, I might add, has proved difficult because we like where we are so much.)

When we first moved here, it was because we needed to be in the town and the choice of houses available was slim so it was a compromise. Our previous five houses were in rural locations so there was a lot of new stuff to get used to in a town: more noise, street-lights spoiling the dark of the night, neighbours a bit too close... However, there was the excitement of being able to walk to shops, restaurants and even a football stadium!

We must have got used to the noise and artificial light as they seem to be acceptable now and we are very lucky to have reasonably quiet neighbours who don't intrude. There is rarely a reason to walk into town but we sometimes do and we are also near to a countryside walk. This is, in fact, a near-perfect location - which is why we're having trouble moving on... but we're looking!

19 September 2013

The Big Bad 40

For my 40th birthday, my husband bought me a lovely 3-opal antique ring. Good start! A month later, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with a great party followed by a week in Portugal, returning to England to move house the following week... Whew!

The house move, a result of us both being made redundant and having to downsize quickly, was stressful (quart into a pint) and work began immediately on the renovation. Meanwhile, the dog began acting oddly and we knew he wasn't well so we took him to the vet who operated without delay (cancer) and told us 3 days later that he had pulled through and should be able to come home soon. The vet called back a few hours later to say that, unfortunately, he just died.

Our change of address required that we changed our GP and had to undergo check-ups. It transpired that I was 3 months pregnant (a vague memory of celebrating our anniversary with a bit too much to drink) and I hadn't realised because life was so busy and stressful and - hey, I'm 40! So that's why I'd gone off coffee and ate lots of avocados (rich in folic acid).

We got over the initial shock and arranged to visit my parents to tell them, came back, then a neighbour brought our dead cat round - he'd been run over.

The father-to-be found a full time job and we had a holiday in Italy. Then the worst news: dad's 'ulcer' turned out to be aggressive cancer and he was given 3 to 6 months to live. He survived four more months but never saw his lovely and perfect grandson who was born two weeks after the funeral.

Wow, so to recap:

  • big birthday, 
  • big happy anniversary party, 
  • sold house, 
  • bought house, 
  • moved house, 
  • dog died, 
  • cat died, 
  • renovated house, 
  • decorated house, 
  • gave birth, 
  • dad died. 

All in under a year - I've had some birthdays since but 40 was certainly a memorable age.
40+